Guilty

So, last night I had the pleasure of going to dinner with a great friend. However, I did not think ahead about our dinner plans. She happened to be over by me last night when we both got off work, so we figured we would stay close to where we were to avoid traffic. We ended up at Carrabbas. I know I know, amazing food, but I couldn't handle looking at the menu and picking out something healthy. I had to have this ravioli's stuffed with chicken rocotta cheese and spanish. Yes, they were so good, but not so good for me. Needless to say when I got home last night and was feeling guilty, I couldn't even find anywhere online what their calorie take was on them. The sad thing was, it didn't stop there. I know that whenever you go somewhere and they bring you a bread basket you should just either (a) ask them to take it away or (b) have one piece and then have the basket removed... we didn't do either. However I did only have 2 pieces so I will count that as a small win. Then, of course, since we were having a good dinner, I had to have a glass of wine to go with in. And now, the worst part of it all, I was on my way home, already mad at myself for eating so much and knowing I wasn't going to go home and sit on the bike to watch the Biggest Loser like I told myself I would, so I decided to stop and get ice cream. The entire time I was getting it I felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from eating every last bit of it.

It was just a different feeling last night, knowing what I was suppose to be eating, but yet feeling so guilty for doing so. I guess that just goes to show me that I am finally getting into the right mind set about all of this, because before I would just eat what I wanted, be mad when I got on the scale, but it really never would sink in.

Okay, enough of me feeling bad for what I did last night. Today is a new day, with a new calorie goal to stay within and a workout to get done. I have a feeling it will be a much better day. After all, it is hump day :)

Amazed

Okay, so I have to admit I was scared going into this weekend, because that is always my downfall when it comes to food. But knowing that I would have to get on and track my calories did help out a little bit. I did eat food that wasn't the best for me, drank more than I should have, but I didn't over eat for once. When I was full, I stopped, and I tried not to eat things just because they were there. It must have paid off. I was so scared to get on the scale this morning, but I was still down 3 pounds last week! Now just to keep it up and see if I can lose another few this week.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Motivation

So, after excuse after excuse, I am forcing myself to get a hold of everything and take control. Starting on Monday I have started tracking my calories again. Before, I would track all day, while I was good, and then I would "forget" to track what I ate at night. Umm, I wonder why I wasn't losing the weight I wanted to. Well now, I have my The Daily Plate (which I highly recommend for anyone wanting to track calories) my home page. Now, every day when I get onto my internet, it is the first page I see. That way it reminds me to make sure everything in there is current and I can't cheat myself anymore.

Also, seeing Nolen's progress has been a real downer for me lately. He has been doing so good, and while the scale is not showing the progress as much as he would like, how strong he is getting and the muscle he now has is amazing. It just makes me mad to know that we both started this together earlier this year, and while I have not held up my part of it, he has and can see the results.

I have also tried to think of why I feel this need to lose weight and get in shape. I know it has to be more than just wanting to look good, because if that is all it is then I will just continue to fail myself. So, I sat down and came up with some other reasons, hoping these will be more of a motivating factor. (1) Knowing we live in a country where obesity is running wild, I know I need to get a hold of my eating habits and learn to make better decisions. I am afraid that too many wrong decisions can lead me in that direction. (2) While this is still a good few years down the line, I want to ensure that when the time comes for Nolen and I to start our family, I am as healthy as I can be, for both myself and our future baby. (3) Along those same lines, I want to go though the hard time of making the life style changes now while it is just me and Nolen before our life gets more complicated and busy.

So, lets see how it goes. I hoping this is going to give myself a big kick in the arse and help me get it back in gear. I'll keep you all updated more often on my progress. Until then, healthy choices and good workouts!